October 29, 2011

It Should Not Snow in October

This will be a very quick post as I should get right back to working on that crazy project I have for school that I am tired of doing/talking/thinking about. I know that everyone I know is tired of hearing about it. Believe me, I wish I could have a life again and spend time with my friends and family.

To clarify, this project was advertised by the professor and previous students as the project that will make you cry every night and have a mental breakdown.  Well that is exactly what it is, so thank you for systematically planning depression into your students. It’s been a real joy. You have removed the ability for me to get anything done due to this anxiety that makes me want to do nothing but sleep and cry all of the time.

But no one has time for sleep or crying so we are all insomniac zombies roving around campus pumping shots of espresso into our Red Bulls. (Alternatively, I hear that another popular drink is “double brewed” coffee, where one uses coffee instead of water to make coffee.)  Although I don’t drink anything but water, I was advised to pick up a caffeine habit for 2 weeks. :D The class has a "happy hour" planned the minute class ends on the 9th. I'd rather just sleep.   

Things I look forward to once this project is dead and buried (November 9th 2011):

-Cleaning the House. Yes, the house is absolutely disgusting and I wish I could clean it. I would probably get more work done if I just cleaned it because it is very distracting. I should really do laundry too.  

-Spending time on my other assignments. I have a lot of other big assignments but this one is huge and has been head butting the other assignments out of the way so that I am turning in a lot of subpar papers. I feel like telling my professors: “I promise you, I’m not stupid.” Anxiety is killing my brain to the point that I can’t think of names, dates, places and simple words when I need them.  Professors who know me know that something is wrong but those who don’t know me probably just think that I am stupid. 

-Going out of the house. I have been confined to the house and the library. I have a collection of errands I need to go on and no hours to go. Even more, I’d love to get to do something fun.  Not having any fun makes living pretty crappy and probably feeds the unending cycle of anxiety.  

But back to snow, I am in earnest need of getting to the library and am not sure it will be possible with this storm. 

Snow on the skylight in the kitchen.

Snow in the back yard.

I know I should look at this as a time to relax and do something not school related, but I have so much to do that I constantly feel guilty when I am doing something not related to this project.Sorry about the quality of the photos, the lens on my camera got dirty at Cedar Creek so the photos are coming out a bit smeary until I figure out how to clean it.


  1. Oh, I'm so sorry! I wonder what exactly professors are thinking assigning projects like that? Hang in there - we're all rooting for you!

  2. I can't believe it's snowing, it's coming down pretty hard right here in Feasterville. They said the last time it snowed in October around here was in 1979!

  3. There's no reason to give assignments like that. They aren't helpful and just lower self esteem. You've done some huge projects in the past, i know you aren't joking when you say that this is huge.

    -Andrea F.

  4. The title of this posting coincides with the title of your blog!

  5. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without college. :)

    While your finish line seems impossibly far-off right now, hold on, take one step at a time and you will find yourself nudging that last footstep over the line eventually. And then you will be FREE!!!

    ...well, at least until the next one...

    Looking forward to life getting back to normal for all my student friends, and for you in particular, since I enjoy your posts.

  6. Yep, should totally not snow in October. It canceled the Halloween party I was supposed to attend. This class sounds like my children's lit class where you have to read 10 children's chapter books a week, reflect and write an annotated bib. It would be easy if I didn't have other classes. I plagerized on one assignment because with my meds, I fall asleep and my doctors tell me I need 8 hours of sleep, I couldn't do it. That prof. also doesn't believe in doctor's notes. :(

  7. Thanks for your support! I hate the feeling that life is passing me by because of some arbitrary assignment.

    Jess, This is exactly the same kind of thing. It is a semester's worth of work for only one class. If it wasn't required and this wasn't the only teacher that teaches it, I would have dropped it.

    I'm still trying to maintain high spirits but it is difficult.


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